G's birthday....

It is G's fifth birthday! schoool has already finished for the girls. Ix is still at school for another week, but ahs INSET days for two days next week so will come on holiday with us then return for the rest of the week and his carer will stay with him and we will have a few days with the girls in France.

But N is distressed and anxious. we have the CBT appt so I ask M to take the girls to MacDonalds and to play while I go to the CBT appt with N.

We get to the hospital and await the appt. we go in, she says how are things, I say "bad". he is very anxious, distressed, breaking things, hitting himself...

N says: I just want to come to hospital for two weeks, to sleep, to get away.

She says: oh I think you would find it very distressing in the psychiatric ward, I don't think it is appropriate.

N is crying. "it is my daughter's birthday today..." then he starts hitting himself around his head with his fists.

"why are you doing that?" she asks..." I don't know," he says.

She is visibly scared and runs out to call someone...she returns in five minutes. "this is Dcotor X. he is the on-call psychiatrist.."

Dr X talks to N, and says, well, I don't think we can admit you.

N says, we have a holiday booked, we leave on Saturday, I need to go on holiday, but I want to come to hospital and sleep..."

They umm and ahh and say "go on holiday..."

We leave and N decides to go to church, he is talking about how he cannot cope, it is too much, he wants to sleep, and complains that I never talk to him...I say: "we can talk on holiday."

he goes crying to church, I go to meet M and the girls.

We go home to have cake.

it is a strange kind of celebration.