Wednesday, 21 October 2009

do I tell or do I not?

October 2009

well, N returned to UK in december 2007, manipulated into family home and became more agressive and violent, intimidating and bullying. In early 2008 he spent large sums of money on new TV £600, £400 watch he gave me for Valentines day - I rejected it and he trapped me in the bathroom sayihg I had to have it...amongst other things, he called me "full of sh£t" many times in front of the children.

he refused to contemplate moving out - "I hate you, don't leave me".

in late February I realised the only option was for me to move with the in April 2008 after he kicked me i moved with the children to rented flat.

he visited them in our new home - this was a big mistake. he was agitated, depressed, finally assaulted me and caused damage. we went to court. his GP called me to say he was "severely depressed".

since then has had supervised contact in contact centre - all sessions went well.

now moved to supervised contact "by an appropriate adult" outside contact centre.

a few issues but lately he has not turned up saying "i am low" "i have not eaten all day" "i have no food in the house" "you can help me" "let me come to your house" (he cannot come in our house and i feel i cannot help him).

he said he had been to GP but "they cannot help me".

now I am debating whether to point out to GP that N in august was very hyperactive, spent £2500 on a joint acocunt sending it into heavy overdraft and incurring £300 bank charges.

he refurbished a flat which is sitll joint owned and is rented out - but went overboard, replacing doors and skirting boards for example when this wasnt needed and there was no money to do this - he should have just painted them.

also, during this time he was very agressive in text messages and demanding things which were not practical - in court saying he should see the children every day for example which just isnt feasible. (he has court ordered supervised - two mid week sessions and weekend sessions)

he said in text msg that I had been so abusive to him (by leaving him) that he has been self harming in the past two years.

shld i tell GP this?

also saying we could be together again which just isnt on the cards.

my lay diagnosis is big highs and lows - eg bipolar??

but shld i just leave it to GP to diagnose him even tho i doubt GP has full information?

or shld i tell GP about the mad spending - his neighbours described him during this refurbishment period as "manic" "oh he told me he was up at 6 am painting" etc. one nighbour compained about him doing DIY noise thru til late at night too.

if he catches me on the phone - by calling to make arrangements to see/not see the children - then i keep repeating to him his issues are his repsonsibility - so do i stay out of passing on any information to GP?

but the dcs are supposed to see him - so it does have something to do with me?

tell the GP about his overspending, his self harm, his current depression - his highs and lows over the past years - or not?

would it make any difference to diagnosis and treatment - so he can be a fulfilled and happy parent to his children?

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