Feb 2005 - his mother dies

of a heart attack age 77. he calls me at work in shock and I switch to efficient mode, book his flight to Spain the next morning, get Euros, pack bags...

I think about his relationship with his mother, a love/hate? At Christmas he has argued with her, after she said we should not go visit - "too cold", "too wet", etc.

he got mad...I overheard him say "well I won't see you then! I will see you at your funeral!"

I asked him "how can you say that?"

"it is how we are..."

Certainly, visits to his family I have found - strange... from dawn to dusk they would argue, call each other "stupid", argue some more....

but now his mother is dead and that is sad.

It is also half term so I take some days off.

This is the scheduled time to do intensive toilet training with Ix with his ABA therapists, so it is a few days of wee and poo on the floor...

I think: "it is good N is not here,, he would not cope with the mess."

AFter three days we are getting successes! He is not holding on all day then letting go in floods, and is enjoying more and more Smarties for success.

The girls have various activities and outings.

Our ex-nanny agrees to stay with Ix a couple of nights and I take the girls to Spain to pay our respects. We return together and back to routine.

in other words... I go to work, he takes girls to school, he calls me at work and says he cannot cope and he wishes he was back at work...